It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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