the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
