So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
