I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Randomize
