Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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