i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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