I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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