How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
