none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize