I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
