my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Randomize
