we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
