Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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