HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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