Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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