glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I think I just shit out all my problems.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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