I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Come see our sink grown plant.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
