Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
