Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
