God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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