a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Boobs speak an international language.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
