Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Randomize
