I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
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