Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
