Small penises have feelings too.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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