all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I have post one night stand depression
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