I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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