He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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