You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
