I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
