...so i touched it.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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