at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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