This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
