The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Randomize
