just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
