Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Just high enough for therapy.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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