So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
