are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
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