Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
