Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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