Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Randomize
