remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
