literally had 100 drinks last night.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
