this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
