She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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