He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
