ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
