Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
