We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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