i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
